I logged on to my account on here after I found the page of my favourite text-based narrative game (All That We Could Ever Be) and I wanted to say how much that game meant to me. 
I've played it years ago and never even thought of telling the creator I loved it, which is a shame because it's always nice to hear.

Anyway when I logged in, I had notifications that people followed me, which is nice and a bit surprising since I haven't posted in a while. So I wanted to give a general update on my situation.

First thing, how are you all doing? I know the political situation is dire, but I truly hope you're doing okay and are safe (my thoughts go to USians and Palestinians especially right now). It sucks and it's bad, hopeless and scary. I hope we'll get through it, destroy fascism, solve climate change, overthrow capitalism, survive and build a better world for all but I'm not that hopeful if I'm being honest.

As for my situation : as a Visual Artist, I decided to retire. I made 2 political posters during the recent French snap parliamentary elections because the far right threat was looming and there wasn't much else I could do. But as it is, I don't draw anymore. I just hope that my illustrations that are public domain will travel around the web because as it is, it's the only legacy of my art career (there's a pack right here of full-res pngs).

As a game dev, I might make some little toys in the future but nothing much I think. As of now, it's on hiatus.
The issue with both visual art and game dev nowadays is that if you want to make a career out of it, you have to build a community and post regularly and I'm not happy about that because I'm not a people person and I have no drive to become famous. I also don't spend that much time on social media anymore and it's kind of nice and refreshing tbh.

I decided to go back to University to study Physics (online). It just started a few months ago and I'm a bit overwhelmed by how much I have to learn in the little time I can be functional everyday, but I'll make do. I have accomodations if I want but I'm reluctant about doubling the number of years I'll spend on this diploma.

Choosing Physics was not a random choice, it was my favourite subject throughout my school years, but I took a different path because at the time creating art felt more meaningful to me. I don't know if I can make a career out of it, as I don't know if I can hold a 9-to-5 jobs with my disabilities, but seeing how the political situation is evolving I don't know how long I'll have my disability benefits so getting a degree might be useful - plus, I just really like to learn, and I really like Physics.

Sometimes I think about making little toys about physics problems in Godot or something but it never goes far.

Recently-ish, I've been diagnosed with ADHD and EM/CFS (among other stuff) and I started treatments for both, and some of them work which means I'm not completely bedridden anymore which is nice, even if walking more than 10 minutes is still a struggle. Ritalin helps me focus but it's not perfect and it mostly starts bouts of hyperfocus (which is better than no focus at all but still kind of a pain imo). I can focus more and longer but it's still less than average so I've only been studying and playing games in my free time.

These days I'm playing Cyberpunk 2077, Slay the Princess and reading Neuromancer.

I used to not like the cyberpunk genre much because it's been appropriated by tech bros, and I found it depressing how close it is to our situation (without the cool stuff like cybernetics implants that work and actual AI) but I guess that's what I'm obsessed with right now.

I kind of want to write some short story or something in response to perceived flaws in the Cyberpunk 2077 (and ttrpg) universe, as in : I keep thinking about how being able to insert a plug into your brain that might give you a virus might come with a cultural and societal reluctance to plug in just about anything without any kind of protection.
I think there's parallels to be drawn with STDs and protections against them, and how they're viewed culturally and it's interesting.
Also, I feel like another underused concept is that of the disdain for the meat. I know that the ND for the game tried to hint at this (with some excerpts from Schopenhauer and some discussions with buddhist monks) but it's really superficial imo. I'd like a cyberpunk story with complete and unbridled hatred for the material world, like the manicheans (or the cathares) used to have. I feel like it would be a lot more interesting (don't know if it's in Neuromancer, I just started it).  (Also if I were to choose a religion that would find cybernetic implants blasphemous, Buddhism would not be the first to come to my mind but that's beside the point I guess.)

Sadly, I don't really have the drive to create anything so I just rant about it instead lol 
I might or might not write something who knows.

Anyway, hope you're doing okay, drop me some news in the comments if you want. 

Bye!

(the cover image is just one of my old daily sketches)