In light of the fact this is a written work and not a game, I've decided to review it as a written work. That mostly came down to proofreading though. Here's my notes
When it says "is that right" at the beginning, show the player what they entered so they don't have to guess
Pro tip for writing, read what you've written out loud to yourself to see where the pauses and full stops are. "I know, it's a publicity stunt by that zoo, I told you you shouldn't trust them" is a run on sentence. You should place a period after the word zoo, because that's a natural full stop rather than just a pause in a thought. Also, probably don't put the word "you" twice in a row. People do talk that way, but it looks weird in writing. Try "I told you not to trust them" instead
Small formatting error: Dr.Mist has no space between the period and the name
"We have Jason the Capybara, Mist the penguin and Joey the Bidoof" -- why isn't penguin also capitalized to be consistent? Penguins get no respect I tell ya
"A bit more sour" -- what am I? A sauce? "a bit sour" would be more accurate :P
GRUMPY OLD MAN? HOW DARE YOU. I've got a good 5 years left
I would rather be teaching a fish to code rn ;)
Joey Section:
"Though I don't know why that's it favorite number" -- another pro tip: throw the script into something like google docs to catch typos like "it favorite number"
lol, I'm beginning to see that the budget went into crafting my lines
Jason section:
"He was resuced, though I'm sure that you'll get to know his story better than I do". -- should be rescued
"We did captur him from Nintendo, so make sure not to get copyrighted!" - capture
Capybara ending is clearly the true ending
I'm starting to wonder what kind of reputational damages these games are causing me, lol
Congrats on finishing... well... not a game... but something! Now that I've been freed from this hell, you'll be hearing from my lawyers shortly
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