A solid first FVN that is both well-written and finished! The music is great and really helped create a mystical yet adventurous atmosphere. Furthermore, there is an adherence to subtlety here that is rare in online writing. I appreciate that, especially since FVNs tend to beat the reader over the head with the emotions they are trying to convey.

I believe the main flaw was that the story tries to fit a novella's worth of worldbuilding into a short story's length. It makes a lot of the other elements feel cramped. This is most noticeable in the final act where things just sort of resolve themselves.