Judge feedback

Judge feedback is anonymous.

• Great work on creating an interactive fiction piece via Twine for SCREAMWORLD! The story echoes the 'haunted woods' trope of horror fiction but adds some cute and unique ideas about the animals that inhabit the forest. The thing that stood out for me was the light-hearted sense of humour, especially with the writing of Ember, and the interesting way that contrasted  with the gory and visceral things that can befall the player by the end of the story. I know this is a work in progress, but I still felt there was a consistent overarching narrative, and the choice at the end added some pathos to the game. Hope you're able to develop some of these ideas and characters as you work on the story! 

  For constructive criticism, one thing that could help is keeping a consistent logic when writing across a story. There were some times where the story would say one thing and then contradict itself later. (i.e.  Ember being described as 'lifeless', but then he gives one last smile, or can be healed with medicine) Another thing is giving the player intuitive description of the situtation when making a choice, so they know why they could pursue a certain action. (i.e. why would the player want to throw a rock at a cat, or where did the medicine come from?) And also consider a degree of realism when scoping what characters can say and do - i'd be hard-pressed to find someone that can fight well with an arm recently ripped off of them! 

  I really encourage you to keep working on interactive fiction! It really seems like you had a blast writing this, and it was fun to read it too. Thanks again for submitting!