Hi there. There's no feedback option on the main game page so I'm commenting here. First, I think using the text message structure really helps the Twine elements come alive and feel real. But I think there's something a little off about how long/elaborate the messages can be. Lots of parts of this game don't really feel like text messages. Here are some options:
* shorten some messages, and frame others with "hang on while i copy/paste" or something like that to keep the text message illusion alive
* frame it more as a conversation (a phone conversation, perhaps? or maybe a chat app like discord or slack where longer messages are good
* something else - maybe they are screensharing to us what they're writing, etc. You might even look at some graphical elements to show this. Check out the Twine forums for help with this.
Some of the best moments in the work are when you embrace the "conversation by text" part, especially things like the main character nervously broaching themselves as a possible partner. In those moments the choice to make the game "texts" is highly effective. So I would not recommend losing those moments and switching to a standard narrative stance.
This game is a great example of what I always emphasize about worldbuilding - that unless you're literally Tolkien (and not even he was always Tolkien) it should exist only and forever to highlight character traits, strains and expressions. It took me a little while to figure out what "90s turn" meant, but when I did, it made me laugh at the "1390s" clarification in some of the responses. It was exciting to me to discover something about the world and the characters that wasn't just dumped in my lap. It's one of the more skillful examples of this feeling and technique, for everything from blood pubs to vampire psychology. At the end of this game I felt like you had actually taken me both into this world and into the life of these characters.
Kudos on an absolute delight of a game, can't wait to see what comes next.
Comments
Hi there. There's no feedback option on the main game page so I'm commenting here. First, I think using the text message structure really helps the Twine elements come alive and feel real. But I think there's something a little off about how long/elaborate the messages can be. Lots of parts of this game don't really feel like text messages. Here are some options:
* shorten some messages, and frame others with "hang on while i copy/paste" or something like that to keep the text message illusion alive
* frame it more as a conversation (a phone conversation, perhaps? or maybe a chat app like discord or slack where longer messages are good
* something else - maybe they are screensharing to us what they're writing, etc. You might even look at some graphical elements to show this. Check out the Twine forums for help with this.
Some of the best moments in the work are when you embrace the "conversation by text" part, especially things like the main character nervously broaching themselves as a possible partner. In those moments the choice to make the game "texts" is highly effective. So I would not recommend losing those moments and switching to a standard narrative stance.
This game is a great example of what I always emphasize about worldbuilding - that unless you're literally Tolkien (and not even he was always Tolkien) it should exist only and forever to highlight character traits, strains and expressions. It took me a little while to figure out what "90s turn" meant, but when I did, it made me laugh at the "1390s" clarification in some of the responses. It was exciting to me to discover something about the world and the characters that wasn't just dumped in my lap. It's one of the more skillful examples of this feeling and technique, for everything from blood pubs to vampire psychology. At the end of this game I felt like you had actually taken me both into this world and into the life of these characters.
Kudos on an absolute delight of a game, can't wait to see what comes next.
i ! loved ! this ! so, so cute and interesting. and gay.