Note: this is based on what is essentially the "demo" /prologue.

What the story stands for  shows promise, but as it currently is, it's an incomplete story, one that I have trouble staying within. I felt like I learned more about what the protagonist didn't know, then about the protagonist when we had so many things to react to. A sort of outline of what he wasn't, and while in a way that defines him, the image I got wasn't clear enough to fill in the space. Maybe even more so bout the brother than himself, which is another curious way to define him. 

 It's very much a queer story (the incurable disease (reminiscent of the HIV crisis), the rejection of the self, the untimely demise, the literal kink community within) and yet we also have other supernatural beings that don't seem to have the same limitations, which kind of pulls it away from that othering (to me). They exist in the same space-- it's the supernatural community, not the werewolf community. Do they have their own health limitations? The rabbit seems to live freely, as does the kitsune and bartender.  The werewolves have an actual built in-limitation (of which the kitsune seems to suggest that trying to seal away things isn't the answer, and yet that feels like sort of the xmen third movie paradigm of "Woman with really awesome powers says there's nothing wrong with being a mutant" whereas "woman who can kill everyone she loves in a touch and never know their embrace wishes to be "normal", if that makes any sense. 

A message can be true, but the preponderance of evidence suggests the full moon, eg. a full embrace, would lead to a lack of sanity, and that it's right to not try and embrace the othering state. And then I'm back to kinda of wondering where this extended metaphor stands, and what the incompleteness obscures that perhaps the full narrative would be able to capture.

I think this work would be more thematically consistent and maybe address those narrative concerns better if it were only werewolves, because that existence of the other supernaturals weakens the pup play/daddy play dynamic with Nino as a parallel to having to have one's interests hidden/a subcommunity within a subcommunity/being "straight passing" by day and then cruising at night. BDSM and the related kinks are pretty openly present at pride and comingled in the overarching community (to be able to have discourse about something means it's present enough to be visible) to me. And I'd say they were still even connected further back to make it being a point of pride discussion, with the hanky code, Tom of Finland, etc etc. They're already communities with a certain degree of overlap.

To me, it makes it very the "author's kink here" and like, there's nothing inherently wrong with that--Christopher Claremont built some beloved storylines doing so (and with some noticeable hiccoughs along the way)--but the structuring of the metaphor gets shaky given the worldbuilding surrounding the presentation. Like, Werewolves queer, the various others also queer? But without the HIV crisis sort of analogue in the werewolf curse? And able to perhaps blend in better most of the time?

If it's meant to be a foil to sexuality more directly, whereas the Werewolf nature is more implicit, then I think it would best be kept by removing the other supernatural creatures and strengthen the theming.

If it's meant to purely be a flavorful tie to the brother, then pop off but I was taken out that someone that the narrative felt like described to me as that serious, composed, etc would spend time with Nino of any nature. I would have believed desperate hanger-on in the outer circle more so than former partner of some measure.

While what may come would likely be enjoyable if crafted with the same care that was put into the polish of this piece--and there was certainly a lot of care as to what the visuals were showing, the manner they were shown (if only for a fraction of a section)--and yet, for me, what's currently present isn't the same as what it promises to become, and that disconnect leaves me wanting and a bit wary.

Minor spoilers to follow

I think the concept is really interesting (destroy the Beastmen! attack them! feast upon their flesh!), but the execution is way too rough and rushed to really be enjoyable. Other than the interesting concept (which isn't really developed, because it's like the last two lines) nothing leaves much of an impression. The writing is rough and doesn't really gives itself time to establish an atmosphere, and the imagery is bizarre (not always in a good way): the shift from demonic imagery to colorful background with humans in it is jarring and the sprites are very weirdly positioned.

I will say that one aspect I did enjoy was the audio design. The flute music, repeated in two different versions, was very effective and there is some nice sound effects to punctuate the nightmarish scenes.

As someone that liked Heinlein's "Number of the Beast" more than he probably should, I appreciated the extended my wolf universe, but in another facet it felt very like XB2 fanfiction except mirroring the beats with new chars. I think it could have been more of your voice if you strayed away from sticking so closely to the combat.

I enjoyed your motive for a sort of tribute to "My Wolves", and appreciate the love you put for everyone who you contacted, but you got too lost in the sauce of your parody? appreciation? for XB2 that it pulled away from a story only Unagi could tell.

Love to see a polished writer at play, although I think we saw more of a `fanfic` (I know it was OC, I'm talking vibe-wise) with some visuals than a work making full use of the medium. Which is understandable for a first work. Still quite excellent. Breezed through it because it was such a smooth ride.

You know someone's done a good job when have items like initially disliking one of the characters (Roan) but then get to see through other aspects how they can be likeable for the protagonist to want to marry them.

Some adjustments of the audio and some of the sprite work changes and you've got a killer work (more so than it already was).

This was such a fascinating entry. I can't help but talk about it by splitting it in two parts.

The first part of the narrative (everything leading up to the game) is just amazing. I simply love the art and the characters, the theme of poverty is depicted amazingly well. I even to commend the writing even more: this is an entry that doesn't really use flowery language, but it has no need to. The writing is to the point and manages to set the mood, develop the characterization, and advance the story in short straight-to-the-point sentences. I love it.

The story does begin to lose a bit when it comes to the game part though. Not because the game is absurdly complicated, but it is a bit much to follow along, I do think that more visual aides would help this a lot. Also I feel like the narrative focuses a bit *too much* on the game in the second half: while the game is obviously important, it would still be nice to focus a bit more on the characters and the real space they occupy at the same time, find again that atmosphere that was such a strong presence in the first half.

All in all, I can't wait to see how this VN concludes.

SPOILERS to follow.

Please forgive me one CinemaSins-style nitpick: I feel like believability was a little strained when the two characters were allowed to just go together to the bathroom to discuss freely their next strategy. Considering this is a high stake game run by the mob, it strains credibility that no measures were put in place to prevent this. I would have liked if the characters had found some more creative way to communicate between themselves *during* the game, and if the story had done a bit more with the situation of the characters knowing there was a mole among them. Instead, they reveal their newfound knowledge pretty much immediately, and not much comes out of it.

Babe, it's 3 P.M., time for your sporussy session.

This was just beautiful. There is obviously a lot of beautifully evocative art in this project, but what really elevated it for me was the writing and the music.

I realize I tend not to comment enough on the music when I review VNs: unless the music makes itself really stand out (in a good or bad way), I tend not to think about it when I finish a game, even though it was definitely an important part of the experience. This was one of those rare cases where the music really stood out: there such a coherent style through the VN that I was never really sure when a music track had began or ended. It felt like one large music score.

And the writing was just beatiful, poetic when I needed to be, and it sold the drama and the melancholy perfectly. I am not one to cry because of FVNs, and more often than not FVNs designed to make you cry leave me unscathed. But for this one, I was fighting back tears at the end of the experience.

I really enjoyed this in spite of the missing assets. I think the biggest issue you had was trying to write the ending towards something longer with more chapters to come outright, instead of having it be a "standalone with sequel potential".

I think you're well aware of Isekai tropes, which makes you suited to write a clean story about them, and the interpersonal relationships reflected felt real. I enjoyed your twist on the conventional isekai setup in that it was a two-way sort of passage, and as a reflection of immigration more than anything else, closer to the anime series Gate (albeit without those more unscrupulous bits that they refused to think otherwise about).

I think if the visuals got cleaned up and the scope was adjusted to that standalone premise, this could be a very nice short VN that anyone can pick up, put down, and feel satisfied about.

Good work overall.