1. I like the Monk / Disiciples relationship. Because they are called many different things throughout the system, it got very confusing. Stick with one term and call them that throughout.
2. Mechanically good. I like the Failures equaling jobs system... that's pretty funny.
3. The Retainers are great! I especially like the descriptions of who they might be beneath. All the flaws are very good.
4. I like that not all of the narrative pressure is on the GM. Nice.
5. Small note here, The titles of the tables need to be shifted down so that they connect to the table (not the bottom of the previous one).
6. The Tables on the second page are fantastic! I wish they were laid out intermixed with the text on the first page. That way we'd get more setting along with the rules.
Overall, good job! You have a nice Wuxia setting with an interesting twist.
1. That's helpful, I tried to standardize but must have missed a few instances.
2. I'm not sure what you mean by this, but I'm glad you thought it was funny! I thought having failures being set to social or religious slips would be more interesting that physical harm given the setting.
5. Yeah, that would look better, I'll make that change.
6. I separated the tables onto the second page because I thought the flow would be better, but it does separate out some of the flavor while reading so I'll try with them intermixed.
Comments
Hello linkttp105!
Had some thoughts while reading your game:
1. I like the Monk / Disiciples relationship. Because they are called many different things throughout the system, it got very confusing. Stick with one term and call them that throughout.
2. Mechanically good. I like the Failures equaling jobs system... that's pretty funny.
3. The Retainers are great! I especially like the descriptions of who they might be beneath. All the flaws are very good.
4. I like that not all of the narrative pressure is on the GM. Nice.
5. Small note here, The titles of the tables need to be shifted down so that they connect to the table (not the bottom of the previous one).
6. The Tables on the second page are fantastic! I wish they were laid out intermixed with the text on the first page. That way we'd get more setting along with the rules.
Overall, good job! You have a nice Wuxia setting with an interesting twist.
Thanks a ton for the feedback!
1. That's helpful, I tried to standardize but must have missed a few instances.
2. I'm not sure what you mean by this, but I'm glad you thought it was funny! I thought having failures being set to social or religious slips would be more interesting that physical harm given the setting.
5. Yeah, that would look better, I'll make that change.
6. I separated the tables onto the second page because I thought the flow would be better, but it does separate out some of the flavor while reading so I'll try with them intermixed.