Agree with T3PP3. It is getting way better. Keep growing!

A buildup to a choice that would leave tragedy in its wake either way. I could see past the rocky clarity, and appreciate the theme in its sincerity. You're getting better, I see improvements from your previous entry, "Family Lessons." I also see experiments in your writing style, which I hope in time will burgeon into something quite nice. I advise you don't switch up how your writing style mid story however. Clarity of your voice is one of the most important things in story telling.

I'm glad to see the fruits of your continuing growth, and look forward to how you improve next jam once again!