Hi there! I like the spoke-and-hub form of this poem. While I usually don't really like rhyming poetry, it worked well in this piece. If you're considering expanding upon this poem, it might be cool if you made the lines change/the sub-poems change based on order of previously accessed passages, so it felt like your actions affected the flow of the poem more. Anyway, nice work!
Comments
Hi there! I like the spoke-and-hub form of this poem. While I usually don't really like rhyming poetry, it worked well in this piece. If you're considering expanding upon this poem, it might be cool if you made the lines change/the sub-poems change based on order of previously accessed passages, so it felt like your actions affected the flow of the poem more. Anyway, nice work!
Thank you very much for playing and commenting. I really appreciate it. And you did a great job on stillborn.