This is probably the most elaborate interactive fiction piece submitted for the jam! I like how you use the interactive features of Twine to elaborate on certain characters or settings mentioned in-text to provide better context to the reader if they so wish. I think the commitment to the setting is admirable and I like the imagery you conjure of the mall. It's also really interesting to see the parallel narrative told in flashbacks resolve itself in the climax of the story and provide the player with a meaningful dilemma to resolve, although I didn't quite expect where the 'defy' choice would go! 

As far as constructive feedback, from a writing perspective, I think the only thing to pick up on is using dialogue as exposition. It's important to balance use of dialogue to convey realistic interaction of characters and as a sort of delivery method for the story, which can sometimes seem quite artificial. But this is just a minor point - I think you have a lot of talent and the story is very well-written! 

Thanks for submitting Sweat Like Drops of Blood to the SCREAM LITE jam! 

I love text based horror, and you did such a good job!