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Congrats on getting something done in 48! I had a few thoughts while reading:

  • Interesting cover... not quite sure what is happening though. But it drew me in.
  • In the welcome to section... Tell me what I'm should be doing rather than what I shouldn't be doing.
  • Wow... you have a lot of setting in there. As someone new who does know the world, maybe bullet points to begin. Keep what you have but maybe move it a bit further into the document.
  • Character creation is interesting. I like that players can build their character how they would like. I wish there were drawbacks to building... purposeful negatives. 
  • I like the concept of the d20 rule... but I think you should encourage players to use different dice. In the example you give us, it would make more since to use a d6 or d12.
  • Nice descriptive rules for determining actions.
  • REALLY LIKE YOUR WORLD MAP GENERATOR! That is super great!

Nice job overall! I would say on the next pass, focus on layout to onboard players easier.

Thanks for the feedback!

Yeah, the setting could probably have less exposition dumping - the important stuff is really only the last part, which is sort of the wrong way to go about it! :D

The D20 rule - yeah you're right, I should've mentioned this. It's perfectly fine to use other another die when it's a better match.

Glad you liked the map generation! To be honest, it felt a bit thrown together (the rest is things I've been thinking about for a long time), but it's a good start. 

The first page may be a bit off-putting, which was not my intention of course :) I didn't have time (nor energy!) to go through and do an edit pass on the game before submission unfortunately.