It's an interesting read, and I like just how different it is from what you'd expect from a typical FVN project, short or not. The ending bits are foreshadowed well, even if you might not be expecting what exactly might unfold. It's certainly the kind of story that I think would work best in this kind of short format, although I do think the pacing could've been slower in some pivotal moments to allow the intended emotions to sink in. I personally didn't mind that the "relationship" developed quickly, because it wasn't much of a relationship, it read more like a casual hookup to me, and for that kind of thing, it felt about as developed as it needed to be.
But in the end, what matters the most to me is that it is a very bold kind of story to tell, especially in this niche, and I can appreciate that. Some edits here and there and general polish would resolve most of the issues I saw in the project.