[Spoilers throughout]
Nice entry. It had a nice flow from introducing the main character and the world to introducing the new environment they found themselves in. I liked having the option to look at definitions/additional information on certain words. That gives me the option to set the pace I want for reading.
One question I had (and I may have just missed it while reading) but what time period does this story take place in? In my mind I was picturing something medieval, but then it said that we were receiving a call and that made me wonder whether it was modern technology or some sort of magical/alchemical version of a phone.
I enjoyed the mission and felt rewarded for my choice of searching around the building and finding an alternative way in. The riddle was so confusing at first until I found the keypad. I then felt a grin on my face as I opened my inventory and then the riddle and started finding numbers in it. The amount of light at night stumped me for a bit due to the moon and countless stars, but I eventually settled on what turned out to be the correct answer. Getting the keypad combination right on my first try made me feel really clever. Good job setting up an experience that let me feel that way.
Getting a success in apprehending the bad guy felt really good and eventually finding what the Saltmasons were trying to hide was great.
I did a quick second playthrough where I tried some different choices and got to play with the limited natural alchemy uses. I think having one use per element and deciding where best to use them is such a cool mechanic.
Good job.
Now, the post on the discord specifically asked for feedback on how to improve their writing. I don't consider myself an expert on the subject, but I thought I could throw something out there and hopefully it can help.
There were a few times where I felt the story skipped information such as how the main character was receiving a call I mentioned earlier. So added details would be the main thing I'd say, I think. Another example was "someone walks into my vision. I can tell they are part of the Saltmasons." My immediate thought was, "How?" An alternative could be something like, "someone walks into my vision. Their robe is adorned by a badge with the letters 'SM' on it making it clear they are a part of the Saltmasons." (or something like that)
A final example is the reveal at the end of the story. It seemed odd to me that the main character would know that they were human souls. Maybe more detail such as the character not knowing what they are but slowly coming to the horror and realization of what's in the bottles before stating it to the player and ending the chapter could work well there.
These are just my thoughts and I'm definitely not an expert.
Hopefully you found something helpful or nice to hear in this lengthy comment.
Good luck on your future endeavors!
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Thank you so much for your detailed feedback! I am very glad you enjoyed the game.
On the topic of time period, there is not modern technology. I think a better word instead of "call" would be "summons." I totally agree with your writing critiques and I will keep working on my writing.
Thanks again for the comment!