I have to admit that I didn't get tripped up by the same things. It flowed really nicely and I grasped the presented concepts with relative ease.
"Rub my own" I picked up it was his eyes with no issue.
"Stamped under his boot" yeah, dude stamped down and squashed the cigar under his boot. No problems there.
"Pen pusher" definitely have heard this before, googled to check and it's established slang. Interchangeable with paper pusher, it tends to be someone who does the writing rather than something like data entry, filing or reviewing.
"Something reached between us." Reached, I believe, was used to link back to Private Jonan's words "something reached out to me". Made sense, made me damn suspicious.
Generally when giving feedback you want to avoid suggesting how you would write something. Personal preference is very subjective and each writer has their own style.