this is a very interesting perspective to me bc i do speak 2 languages and do feel like im terrible at learning new ones... maybe i never try hard enough but there is this sense that i'm never going to be good at another language to think in it (tbf i generally always think in eng unless specifically talking in rus) and i do feel like i've just been lucky.. my angst takes form of fearing i'm getting worse and worse in my native language and i dont have the vocabulary/word bank and have to frustratingly play riddles with my grandma to get her to understand what words i'm trying to express/find..... *sigh*
anyway not about me haha ..i am feeling a bit more inspired to just try though, to do better... i'm sure you're gonna get better and better, you're really putting effort in it and are motivated.. i think that matters a lot <3