if you get this. take a minuet to breath. i was told this from one of my friends. when you get knocked down its ok to lay there for a minuet. breath think and recover. once you calm yourself and think things threw get up and go on. there also no shame in asking for help when you need it. you've been working on this for a long time perhaps it may be time for a new project a new passion. tho if you want to continue with this i suggest taking a break from it, its giving you a lot of stress. sometimes going for a walk gives the fresh air you need.