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(+1)

Very good start! Really enjoyed it, the characters are very well written and the setup is intriguing.

buuuuut theres a lot of broken links and typos. I may do a second run and catalogue all the ones I find but that will be a lot. Here's a few that are kind of universal:

  • However you have "staying with cam"  and "staying at the motel" setup seems to be a bit broken. During the later parts of chapter 1 I got a lot of bleed between the two. I'd chosen to stay with cam but I got a weird mix of like (paraphrasing not quoting) "There's a knock on the hotel room door. Cam comes out into the living room." during the scene where Ollie shows up.
  • The link to call Ro is broken. It just does nothing. I know Ro hangs up immediately but it doesnt acknowledge that.
  • A lot of Ro's variables are broken. Notably $roname_posessive. At one point the game just calls them "Ro" rather than their full name. I figured it might be a weird nickname but since it never came up again probably a bug. Several of their pronouns are broken throughout the game, mostly as a result of typos I think.
  • A lot of broken if statements. Again, I may do a second playthrough and actually catalogue everything I find but it may be worth just going back and double checking all of them. I remember specifically there is one that is misspelled <<is>> instead of <<if>>, theres also a few that are missing the opening <<if>> or closing <</if>> tag, and one that broke because the closing tag has too many brackets <<</if>>.

Excellent start! Just needs some polish and maybe in the future might benefit from a proofreading pass just to clean up the more obvious errors before release.

(+1)

Thank you for the feedback! I really appreciate it and bugs and proofreading are definitely going to be happening in the future, it has just been a struggle to find people. Bug fixes and typo fixes for the released section are getting worked on very soon and hopefully the errors that have been reported will be fully fixed and updated by Monday, though everybody will have to start with new saves because of something the errors surrounding character creation.