My uncle is a fearsome man with a bad attitude who's recently taken to muttering about mounts and coves and bans at family gatherings. My grandfather charged me with figuring out what's going on. So while my uncle was at crossfit, I secured entry to his home and conducted a thorough sweep. Pinned to his fridge, I found a peculiar document that appeared to be tracking incidences of combinations of these words. I must say I now share some of my uncle's concern. The mounts are intensifying and the coves and bans are increasingly outmatched. By my estimates, we may only be weeks from some kind of mountmount calamity.