Hey pixcele,
thank you for setting up this Jam. It was really nice to hear all the other submissions and get some feedback on my track as well.
Overall I really liked your track. I have one comment on production and one loosely related memory that came up when I heard your track:
I find the difference in space the background drone and the piano in the very beginning occupy a little bit irritating. The drone feels very spacious and the piano feels very brittle and claustrophobic. I guess there are cases where such illogical acoustic spaces can work but here I think I would have preferred it if both parts would have felt a little bit more „in the same space“.
Your (reversed) poetry reminded me of a track I did with a friend a long time ago. We reversed some spoken sentences, memorized how they sounded and recorded us saying them „in reverse“. We once more reversed that and got some really striking otherworldly but understandable spoken passages. It’s a really fun trick we stole from the TV series Twin Peaks. If you never tried that before I recommend giving it a shot if you need some really unsettling voice lines some day.