my games do not show up but many others in my genre do so
What do you think, the main page is?
And how do you "search" for your games?
The main page is https://itch.io/ and the two lists there are fresh and featured. And the only nsfw marked games you will find there are of the horror type. They are curated lists and getting on them is not something you can pay for, as the mod told you.
To see nsfw games, you need to browse and search for them while being logged in, and having nsfw content activated. If you open a private window to test search your games, you cannot see them.
If I search your user name, your games show up fine, so they are indexed and WILL show up, when someone browses for their tags.
Try this one here: https://itch.io/games/tag-transformation/tag-turn-based
The only way for games of your genre to show up on the main page is in the follower and recommendation sections of the main page. And that is user specific.
Also, the search box does not search tags. It searches literal text from the title and maybe the short description. And the developer name. So your game does show up for https://itch.io/search?q=slugs