interesting analysis. i must say i am new at this whole interactive fiction thing and this helps a lot.
however i am a bit confused at the first and last parts of this. what does "two text-box turns too much" mean? are you saying there was too much dialogue per interaction?
and that final verdict....ouch, but once again i am a rookie lol. got any suggestions? things you might wish for in the future?
(also, maybe i should have made it clear but this isnt going to be a standalone story. this game is only the beginning of a larger narrative i plan on discussing.)