So it depends on what you're trying to say here:
If the woman is literally and actually the mistress, matriarch, and queen compared to this master/patriarch/king, then you would say "of."
If she is likening herself to something based on concepts (basically if she's using an expression, like "you're the milk to my cookies" or something), then you would say "to."
I hope that makes sense, and helps you write out this scene.