Hey Dark, I just wanted to put my opinion out for you. I suffer from depression, severe ocd where I ruminate often which makes me anchored in a place for a time, and other mental conditions. I just wanted to say, try to talk to someone you maybe can trust and open up to. Try to get onto prozac or the generic form. It helps balance out the chemicals in the brain, at least to get you through the days. My main point was that I wanted to let you know that you are not alone, and I really hope the best for you.