Terrible with names is iris the maid who helped aginst lalita if so how to get her by the by can you be allies with him and lead the cult?
Sorry for the slow reply, holidays have been very busy.
Yes, that's Iris. You can recruit her by talking to her, giving her a gift (you'll only get the option if you have the correct item available, which is difficult to do when you first find her there), then find her again and navigate the next conversation.
And yes, it's possible to get an alliance without giving up anything, though it's very difficult. It involves doing things throughout the game, the most repeatable of which is completing events at Big Dick's.