Huh?
Nah you aren't a plant you are a playable character anyways I'll make your stats
Darkness Jose
Upsides: Starts with Book of the Damned Vol. 1, which doubles the damage of a specific plant, also starts with Hatred, which deals 40 damage to all enemies in the board, if an enemy activates a lawnmower
Downsides: starts with Curse of the Hurtful, which makes enemies more fast, starts with what's known as a Cheez-it debt of 25 cheez-its, you have to get 25 cheez-its to return back to positives, an enemy must have showed up by then
Unlock: Beat a loop while having a curse