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If they are NPCs and you are starting to talk to them, go slow man, try first talking ‘bout everyday topics and do that until relationship is on pink, and devotion too, then you can start talking ‘bout romantic topics and intimate ones, and just keep doing that until you’re her or his best friend :)

yeah thats what i am always doing but apparently if im doing any action with them i make them fear me, like it litterally says that if i succeed in the action i get -1 fear and then they have a disgusted look

It may be because of what you do to other NPCs just because you are nice to one NPC does not mean they forgive you for what you did to another.