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(1 edit) (+1)

Wow, what expectations I had were blown clear outta the water. I feel like the deluge of BS happening to Lucian in the first few chapters when things get really rolling was maybe a bit much ^^; But still a fantastic story so far that subverts a lot of visual novel expectations! Interesting brand of horror, too—not the gory kind, but the freaky weird kind. Plus some great humor moments! A good story needs a sense of humor.


I personally feel for Lucian. He has a LOT going on, poor guy, but is still called selfish and whiny—I have some shit going on and the same happens to me. It can be a bit difficult to realize when you're being selfish. I get the feeling I am far from the only one, so I think it's good to have this be a teachable theme.


Only problem I really have is that the punctuation isn't used well in places, and there are a number of spelling or word use mistakes. I'm really only bothered because such a well-written story deserves to look a little more professional ^^; I could still understand it, tho, so not a huge deal :)


Gonna keep tabs on this! Just hope it doesn't get SUPER dark....

(+1)

Thanks for reading 🐯

I do plan on getting it edited at one point by someone with actual editing experience. For now though, it's too much of a task to do it myself, especially with Graven being close to done. I kind of abandoned the idea of small improvements in the previous chapters in favor of getting to the end of the story. Once there, I will finally have the entire picture and will be able to properly edit everything (or find someone who will).

As for super dark, I don't know what your definition is for that. But either way, what's a bit of darkness if there's always someone to Light your Way? 🦊