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You can go three ways: 

-Start sharing with Anna ('Invite someone' option when in Studio) 

-Say that you'll be friends (I forget the actual option, but you'll know what I mean) this also opens sharing with Samantha

-Basically say 'yeah okay bye' and have no more content with Ken

It's been some time so I can't remember exactly the dialogue choices so I could be wrong. I can start a new game to recheck if you really want me to.

can you teach ken to swim and avoid sharing or is that not possible?

I don't believe it's possible. You have to at least begin sharing Samantha with him before the swimming stuff happens.

dam oh well no harm asking thanks anyway :)