After watching Boring Kieth's video on the creation of this VN I felt motivated to make an itch.io account and leave my feedback on its writing (the art is amazing albeit unfinished sometimes, and the music is extremely fitting).
The pacing was fast (which is understandable) and the hooks got into me in all the right places. Each character felt distinct and there was plenty of intrigue for each of them.
On my first route I really enjoyed the flow of the conversation, but I began to notice something that carried through the rest of my playthrough: the John Green-ness of the writing. Maybe it's just because of the quote from him near the beginning, but I've read lots of his books and the issue I take with most of his fiction is that the characters are unrealistically pretentious. Not in a dismissive way, I generally love "pretentious" art. Each character has some poetic quirk or way of speaking that makes them more portraits of a person than a real person. As a result, most people's favorite John Green book is their first, as eventually they begin to feel the formula.
That's something that happened here, unfortunately. The character's dialogue during their routes felt more of a mouthpiece for an idea than a fleshed out being, and there wasn't much room due to the pacing for there to be proper dynamics that would allow a more natural communication of their philosophies. I assumed Jack and Edgar were characterized as somewhat nerdy types before realizing they all basically talked like that when it mattered.I think even small changes in the dialogue, such as creating leading statements (like a character asking a question just so they can answer it themselves), creating small in-the-moment miscommunications to invite clarification, and other fun dialogue tricks would go a long way to making these characters feel like they are living their worldviews rather than giving a speech about them.
That all being said, this was a very solid first outing. In my opinion it's better to be "too smart" and learn to integrate deep themes in a more natural way than it is to write well but have nothing to say. I wanted to share my perspective because I see lots of potential here, and I hope to see more works from Boring Kieth in the future.