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I love the idea of this one, and enjoyed the first person present tense aspect of it. I do think it needs some additional editing passes and expansion to really make it thrive, though. Several key elements could’ve been fleshed out a bit more for me personally.

Thanks Grimdark - I'm glad you enjoyed the idea & tense!  You basically just described my process on this one -  I wasn't planning on participating, but I had an idea I liked, wrote a draft, and did only a small amount of editing before uploading.  Hopefully the next one can get a little more time in the process!