I can appreciate how you feel about that. I on the other hand play a game called raptus and it's not for people in their right minds honestly. Really messed up, but I enjoy it because it's a fictitious setting. I would never do any of that stuff because it's just wrong on so many levels, but It's fun because it's not right.....
On a personal note, I am sorry to hear that life isn't going so well for you right now. If you ever need to talk, shoot me a message. I'll chat with you.