Very solid writing! I enjoyed reading this a lot! Also, it's very refreshing to have an adult VN like this where the protagonist isn't the only man in a 1000 mile radius. The Persona/Metaphor style bond system was also a real nice touch; I'm looking forward to seeing how y'all develop that going forward. As for the requested feedback:
-I'm of the mind where I enjoy reading and experiencing the story and hscenes of these types of games more than playing a mini game in them. That being said, having a splash/transition render of the protag at work or interacting with customers would be nice, I think.
-As for horny stuff: let some of the ladies have some bush! It always bugs me whenever I play a fantasy style game and every lady or guy is as smoothe as a Barbie. I also personally find it hot, but I digress.
I think yall have something good here!
