There are some spelling mistakes and odd sentence structure that pulled me out of the story sometimes. I thought the movement of the sprites was good and added to the story. The writing could have been a bit tighter, like why did we have the scene were Terry told Bernard to get out of the bathroom, I might just be fully missing something there but it felt like a random side note that didn't add to the story or really make me understand their relationship any better.
I appreciate that you took the time to add the game embedded into the page. I'd suggest either ticking the ability to make it full screen when you start the game in the browser or ticking the option for a full screen button within itch.io's page options, as it's quite a small embed screen to see everything.
Hope this doesn't come across as too harsh or anything, I certainly don't know all that much about visual novels yet! Regardless you should be proud to have made a game in only a month or less.