Since this is your first RPG Maker demo, I’d say it accomplishes the basics. The story is clear, and the game progresses logically from start to finish. That’s a good foundation to build on.
That said, you need to work on mapping. Right now, it’s not good. The layouts feel empty and unpolished, and that hurts immersion. RPG MZ has some example maps that can help you get a better sense of structure and detail.
The story itself has potential, but the way it’s presented isn’t working. Too much is dumped into dialogue all at once, making NPCs feel more like exposition machines than real characters. Spread the information out more naturally—let the world and events show some of the lore instead of forcing it all into conversations.
If this is your first project, I’d strongly recommend scoping down. RPGs are a ton of work, and focusing on a smaller, polished section—like the first visit to Frostheira—will give you a better chance of making something strong instead of something overwhelming.
There’s potential here, and if you stick with it, you’ll improve. Thanks for sharing your demo, and good luck!