It's alright.
I found a few typographical errors, despite my tiredness.
↑ 'he' shoulf be 'she', I think; and you forgot the word 'room' after 'living'.
↑ There is a word missing here, but I don't know which, 'like' or 'want', between 'don't' and 'you'.
I rather liked it, and hope you continue.