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(1 edit) (+3)

Hi - thank you so much for your thorough comment!! It definitely does not come off as harsh – this is a one woman project, so I find feedback like this really valuable.

Not going to address everything in here, but for one, yes typos will definitely be fixed! I'm really chewing over your comment on the speed of relationships, as my original intention was to make it clear that MC and Oliver have known each other for some time, and so the assumption is that they've had little moments similar to this in the past and it's just now ramping up. It's helpful to me to know that that's either not coming across, or it isn't laid out well enough. 

Your point on spoon-fed healing/trauma processing is well-taken. It's definitely more explicit than I would probably portray in something like a visual medium, but it's more of a background theme than I would say a "goal" of the writing. The healing from trauma is intended to provide justification for some of the actions that the characters take and to further color their personalities, but I'm not sure they'll be explored much beyond that in terms of "healing." I hope this doesn't make the game less interesting for you! I just don't feel particularly strong about attempting to really heal them from that trauma in the bounds of this story (or if it would even be possible). 

I also hope this doesn't sound like a harsh reply - it's given me so much to think about moving forward, and I'm so grateful for the time you spent to think through and write up this response. 💚💚💚

(+2)

You're not harsh at all either!! Massive kudos to you for being so open to constructive criticism <3 (also, kudos for the best profile picture on this website)

My only further response to your response is to bring up what you said about using healing from trauma as justification for characters' actions. As a complex trauma survivor, I think that this is bit of a shaky line to walk -- trauma is not ever an excuse or justification for negative/antisocial/abusive behavior. Abuse, manipulation, aggression, et cetera -- while they are common responses to trauma -- are never justified responses. I think that it's completely reasonable and even admirable to want to display realistic (i.e. sometimes maladaptive) responses to struggle, it's important to also not put forth a narrative in which those maladaptive responses are portrayed as healthy to readers and characters. Of course, I'm not sure what your intentions are, but your wording stuck out to me and, just in case, I wanted to provide my perspective as someone who has dealt with these issues.  Even if psychological trauma isn't a major theme of your work (which, btw, I'm hyped either way; you're in no way obligated to make your art any darker or grittier or more psychological than you want to!!), it is a sensitive topic that I think it worth putting additional thought into while writing. Sensitivity readers are also a great resource!

Again, thanks for much for your kind and thoughtful response! I'm really excited to follow Scout's progress -- you're a very talented writer!! :)