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(+1)

I like the story and the interactivity parts, as little as there may be (the interactivity). This feels more like a webnovel than a visual novel. It's missing music and sound effects to sell the "gamified" story, so it just feels like I'm just reading a regular story from the internet. If I were to just judge the story by itself, it was okay. Things kind of just happened. There's two types of writing, writing of the characters and there's writing of the plot. This one appears mainly to be writing of the plot, and for me I typically don't like them, so I'm bias on that. But if I were to judge it based on previous plot-driven short stories, it's OK. I the story suffers from not setting up the scene enough. The reader is thrown in this scenario before ever knowing why they should care about these characters, this train, and the world. Pacing is too fast.

I like how you used the fonts and colors to highlight speakers and important details. The font really adds to the complexity and depth of the character in how they conduct themselves, or how they should, anyways.

(+1)

Thank you for playing! Fair point, classifying it more like a webnovel would make sense. I just got so excited at the prospect of getting images to work I went and called it a visual novel, haha. 

Thank you for your feedback. I'll be sure to consider your points in future works.