Please don't take any of this negatively, I'm only commenting here in the hopes that you can grow and improve the game! :)
The story was interesting enough, I'd like to find out more about this world with magic of some sort and why people despise those who wield it. What happened to make them so scared? Will I be able to change their minds if I do good? Will I be able to destroy them all if I do bad? What is that weird altar and what does it have to do with the curse? How do I learn about it? there's a lot of room for expansion.
Obviously it's not gotten any layers of polish yet but I did want to point a few visual things out. The name input took me a bit to realize I had to type since it was just part of the dialog section and the first time I got a choice I also didn't realize I had one because it was above the dialog and blended into the scene.
The characters feel a bit... homogeneous? It's really hard to write varied interesting characters so maybe focus on fewer ones and nail those rather than having so many different but same-y ones. Without looking at the names it'd be very difficult for me to be able to tell them apart.
The demo is a bit too short to say definitively but I think you need to practice writing more. Writing is like anything else and the more you practice the better you'll get. Do writing challenges, daily writing prompts, etc. Even writing more of this VN will help, by the time you get to the end of the story you'll definitely want to come back to the start and rewrite it.
Hope this helps and good luck to you! Making a game is hard AND writing a story is hard. Here you've chosen to do both, it won't be easy but you'll learn a ton on your way and improve in each :D