Really good first try! I'm glad you made it in time! This looks like it was a lot of work to set up, and I'm glad you see your shortcomings. I think the other comment says a lot of good stuff. The only things I have to add are 2 very specific things and 1 general thing:
- When I was near the vial in the demolitionist's house, I got frozen in place. At first I was afraid the game had crashed, but it looks like it's just triggering that timer without showing the text.
- Sometimes, especially inside the inn, the beige-white text would overlap the beige-white walls of the building and be hard to read.
- I am not sure you need a bunch more mechanics to make this an interesting game--just make it engaging to talk to the characters, in part by, like you said, really working on the dialogue system, but also just by making them have a little more personality. I think you have most everything in place for some interesting stuff to happen, and it almost happens, but then it's over. I know it's because you ran out of time, but I am genuinely curious about our conversation with the librarian and about the lower-right-hand house in the town.
Anyway, good job! It was my first time making a game, too, so I'm glad there's someone else here like me. If you make an update I'll probably play it!