If the person I'm playing as wasn't in the story, it wouldn't have been much different, because Corin may as well be talking to himself. He could have thought about the transponder on his own, and personally, I think this could've been more interesting with just Corin thinking about the situation, and his past, and a solution to the situation. Maybe that could've made it playable on itchio, since there might've been less scrolling.
All and all, the prose did it's job, but the story felt like a bunch of exposition, and it was just ok.
Oh, I'm in the WAG jam too, by the way. My game is called Literate, and if you'd like to check it out, you can find it at http://itch.io/jam/wag-challenge/rate/29610
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