Interesting premise, the idea of playing to match a script, but also not a particularly fun one. If the plan was to have the game and/or narrator react to going off script, that could be fun (like the end of The Magic Circle, or the Stanley Parable), or maybe even trying to Rainbow Six style plan out the presentation after assessing which parts of your demo would break on stage. But not sure how fun it would be trying to play it straight.
Also for how it plays and ends, clear that time was against you. props for getting as much done as you did! Clearly thought went into the premise of the game and game-in-the-game.