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Really well-made game! The art was very nice and vibrant and the music was really powerful. The UI was good, however I think while having the boxes' pattern? change for the character was a good idea, having Bea's one be bright and orange/yellow makes it a bit jarring when it flickers back and forth- i would have made the box the same colour but given it like, an orange tint to it so it's less on-off.

The writing was good and emotive though sometimes I feel like the game was using present-tense when past-tense would have fit better, this is just my personal opinion as a writer tho. It's not a big deal.


I'm a bit of two minds on the story, I'll use Rot13 as a cipher to avoid spoiling it for people who haven't played the game yet: 

Ng svefg V gubhtug guvf jnf fbeg bs gur rcurzreny "fcvevg bs jvagre" nepurglcr naq guhf jbhyqa'g unir n unccl raqvat fvapr Pnzryyvn jbhyq or zber bs na vapbecberny orvat vapbzcngvoyr jvgu uhzna rkvfgrapr. Gura jura fur hairvyrq gur erq rlrf naq funec grrgu V jnf yvxr "bu ubg", ohg gura "Nu fb fur'f npghnyyl n culfvpny perngher jub qenvaf obql urng, gung pbhyq zrna guvf frggvat unf zber ovbybtvpny-bevragrq ynjf, naq fb jr pna trg n unccvre, znlor inzcver-rfdhr raqvat sebz guvf". Ubjrire gung qvqa'g unccra naq vg frrzf zber gb or gur sbezre fcvevg bs jvagre guvatf, fb V jnf n ovg pbashfrq. Guvf vf whfg na vqvbflapengvp dhvex bs zvar, ohg V svther V'q whfg gnyx nobhg vg.

V nyfb srry gung gurer pbhyq unir orra nabgure fprar ng gur raq? Univat Orn punetr onpx vagb gur sberfg naq abg svaqvat Pnzryyvn vf gentvp, ohg yvxr, V srry yvxr znlor fur pbhyq unir yrsg n zrffntr be fbzrguvat, be Orn pbhyq unir gnyxrq zber naq erfbyirq ubj fur'q qrny jvgu guvf, be znlor gurer pbhyq or na rcvybthr jvgu Orn nsgre gur perqvgf- v jnvgrq nebhaq ohg whfg jrag onpx gb gur raqvat. V thrff vg'f whfg zl crefbany cersrerapr sbe fgbevrf yvxr guvf, bs fnq ebznapr, gung gurl raq jvgu fbzr fbeg bs ersyrpgvba ba jurer guvatf tb sebz urer sbe zl vzntvangvba gb jbex jvgu- zberfb jvgu fubeg fgbevrf yvxr guvf orpnhfr V svaq gurl'er zber pbaqhpgvir gb uvagf naq pehzof.


Of course, your writing style is your own and your decisions on when a story ends and how it ends are yours, and for my issues I still think it was very effective. You should be proud! Great work, it's a shame you missed out on the Yuri Jam time period for the advertising boost because I feel like this definitely would have gone over really well.

(1 edit) (+1)

Guvf jnf bevtvanyyl pbaprcghnyvmrq nf n Lhxv-baan fgbel, ohg nf jr tbg qrrcre va, jr ernyvmrq gung gur Lhxv-baan nepurglcr jnfa'g n fgebat rabhtu onfvf sbe nalguvat orlbaq vgf bevtvany vagrecergngvba, fb jr unq gb tb n yvggyr bss gur envyf. V jvyy fnl bayl, sbe srne bs fcbvyref sbe arj cynlref, gung lbh ner zhpu pybfre jvgu lbhe frpbaq vagrecergngvba, naq vs lbh rawblrq gurfr punenpgref lbh fubhyq xrrc na rlr ba bhe jbex tbvat sbejneq. ;) 

Your support and words are greatly appreciated. Thank you for your critique as well.