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This is quite a lot.

I could make a bigger text box just for the transformation scenes since, wow, there is a lot more here than anyone else has been writing, but it's really good stuff. One thing I would say is maybe some dialogue or internal monologue would be nice, as it would give a better image to the player of her mental changes and how she feels about this.

But honestly, this is quite above and beyond what I was expecting. Good work!

I suppose the question then is do we want to trim it down so it's more in-line with the rest of the game, but have tranformations/sex-scenes be special occasions with more text?

Sure! I was debating whether or not to write in some dialogue for her since I wasn't super sure how it would be formatted in the context of the game. If internal dialogue is something you're interested in doing, though, I'm more than happy. It'd make the piece a little more punchy, I think.

I suppose that sort of depends on whether or not people want to focus more on the bimbofication, or the end result. Shorter, more poignant pieces would help the pacing of the game. Since text games are wordy by nature, people may prefer a little more brevity here. Are we feeling longer, or shorter scenes?