Hello everyone, my name is Angelica, I was assigned male at birth, but in the last couple of years I have been questioning my gender, after moving to a more open minded country when starting university, and meeting LGBT people
My reasons for joining the jam are simple:- I always felt left out from the LGBT of my school since to them I appear as an ordinary cis straight guy, so I am using this opportunity to be able to introduce myself to people as a woman and be able to take part in an activity which makes me feel I am part of the LGBT community, I am deadly afraid of being judged by both LGBT (I am afraid I will be called a fake, and people deny me the right to acknowledge my feelings) and not LGBT people (my father is a self proclamed nazi who talks of exterminating LGBT people, and in my country open gay people are usually harassed and beaten up, so I am kinda deadly afraid of those people), so I can only do this by hiding behind an online avatar, and knowing that whatever I say here will have no consequences for me
- for a long time I wanted to express my complex emotions and inner struggle in some artistic form, in the past I expressed some of those emotions by drawing some comic strips to express my admiration for a trans girl in my class, but to her I am just some random dude who has a crush on her, I am too anxious to talk to her, let alone explain what's going on inside me, and she could not care less about it, so I decided I will express my emotions some other way to other people, as it just makes me feel bad to keep them inside
Now that that's out of the way, I am a game development student at my university, I am mainly oriented towards design in my course, but I am also a skilled gameplay programmer, producer/planner/team leading figure, and I also have minor artistic skills, my goal is to become an iconic lead designer such as Hideo Kojima, Ken Levine, or Tetsuya Nomura, therefore I am trying to broaden my knowledge to every field of development, to give me the level of insight a true leader should have to lead his team to create timeless masterpieces.
I plan to develop my game in Unreal Engine, the engine I am the most skilled with (closely followed by Unity, and in the distance by CryEngine and Lumberyard, which I shrug at the thought of working with again), and I would like to try to model some low poly assets myself, since I have two weeks and modeling is a skill I could really use learning right now, but I shall see if that turns out to be feasible or if I shall coup out and get some premade assets if I cannot make them in time.
Sorry if this is a lot of text, I just really needed to ventilate some of my inner thoughts, and whenever this topic comes up I become very vulnerable and have to get it all out, but now I actually to click on the Post button and I am super nervous so I just keep adding more text, I think I'l just quickly post this, then close this webpage and not check it again for a good 20 hours, okay bye!