This is where I should delete your post and swing the ban hammer, ohmpohm.
I won't do it this time for a number of reasons. But in case you come back, and for anyone else reading this thread, please re-read the community rules (point #3 in particular). We have them for a reason, and that reason is so we can have a community. One of people.
Sorry you have to see this, folks. Just this once, promise.