Thoughts recorded during my playthrough
+ means I liked something
- means I didn't like something
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- I'm not a fan of the pauses in the text during the intro dialog; I would prefer that the text be displayed in its entirety so I can spam the OK button if I want.
+ I do appreciate that the intro isn't just a black background with scrolling text, though. Some thought was put into having the characters explain the backstory through dialog, showing their personalities, personal struggles, etc. through natural dialog and movement.
Should be "minutes."
Should be "usurp."
- I'm not sure what the point of the maps before the town were. There are some characters along the side of the road that talk to you (and a goblin that just stares silently), but it doesn't really add to the game.
- The blowing wind ambience continues into the town. I don't know if that was intended, but it's a little annoying.
Should be "care."
- Talking to Ralpho a second time has you going through the entire dialog again. It would be better to flip a self switch after the dialog and either a) have Rlapho disappear (since he needed to go somewhere) or b) have a shorter dialog (something like "What are you still doing here?").
- The transition between these 2 areas is a little odd. When I walk into the next area, I spawn on the point that would take me back to the previous area. While this means I can talk to the girl on the right side (not that there's much point), it also means that when I walk back I end up going to the previous map. Since the transfer events are right next to each other, walking to the side also means that I transfer maps. It's not the worst thing, but it just seems unpolished.
- Wind ambience continues into the mansion. Definitely an issue.
- Should be "But..." (capitalize the b).
- This overlap is awkward. Probably would have been better to have the choice be off to the right.
Needs a space after the first period.
Should be "Naturally, we tried fending them off ourselves."
Should be "fought on the front lines."
"However" - the H should be capitalized.
Second period on the first line is unnecessary.
"real" has an extra L there.
- When all of the questions in this sequence have been asked, I have to talk to Zain again to move to the next quest. It would have been better if Zain had started briefing me about the next quest automatically.
Second period is unnecessary.
- This is the second time I have seen this sequence. The first time was after I met Ralpho in the slums; this time it's after I delivered the payment from the guy directly south of the main house. I think a progression switch was missed. I can even give Ralpho money that I don't have.
- I can also repeat this interaction multiple times. It says that I "lost payment" each time even though I don't have it any more.
- And now I'm stuck. I can't go past this point because Zain is nowhere to be found!
==Summary==
This appears to be a walking simulator: you go from point A to point B and back to advance the story. While it's a fine way to make a game, there are many things that could improve the experience, like making your areas smaller and more content-rich and adding additional mechanics such as puzzles, battles, and branching story lines; otherwise it gets boring after a while. I know my review doesn't have a lot of positives, but that's because there wasn't much that caught my attention or made me go "wow," leaving the flaws on full display. I can see this is your first game, so congratulations on releasing something! I'm sure as you get better you will find ways to improve the experience and make something that is eye-catching. I hope you continue to improve.