I managed to get a little further this time with the help of AutoHotKey. This game has the dubious distinction of causing me physical pain when trying to smash the keys manually to do the super swim. So that's a... plus?
I stand by my initial assessment as a joke I don't really get. This game is just baffling and unfunny if you don't understand what it's referencing. In most cases I'd call that a bad thing, but in the context of GBTK Jam, I'm not sure. Whether it was intentional or not, a joke game that flies over the had of your audience is certainly an interesting take on the bad game genre.