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I've been going through your notes and two things have me puzzled:

  • GIVE and SHOW are two entirely different actions. The former implies a tranfer of an object. The latter does not. SHOW <something> TO CLERK actually does produce a custom response. So, what were you getting at here?
  • The "Hmmm, let's stop and consider this." paragraph is not redundant as the bouncer doesn't say anything unless you talk to him or ask him about something. What did you do to think that the same thing had already been said twice immediately beforehand? And his response does change, depending on circumstances.
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So, what were you getting at here?

I expect “show butt to clerk”, “show ticket to clerk” (when the ticket is new), and “show ticket to clerk” (when the ticket is scratched) to all produce different responses. It makes sense to give hints that an action is almost right.

What did you do to think that the same thing had already been said twice immediately beforehand?

Ah, perhaps I didn’t follow the expected route. Consider this transcript:

>s

Outside High Roller Nightclub
You’re outside the entrance to the High Roller nightclub. This is not just another club. It has a much fancier atmosphere than any club you’ve ever been in. You can enter the club to the south or return to the street to the north.

A bouncer is here, guarding the entrance to the nightclub.

>talk to bouncer
You try to cajole your way in. “I’m sorry sir, I can’t let you in here dressed like that. We have a dress code and it’s my job to keep people like you out of here. Now back off before I bend you in half.”

Hmmm, let’s stop and consider this. He won’t let you in because you’re dressed like an idiot. Maybe you can do something about that.

(Emphasis mine.) As you can see, the same message mentions clothes thrice; a reasonable hint if the player seems to be stuck, but not so much on the second move of the game.

Sounds fine to me.