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Thanks for trying my game, didn't think anybody would. OWO

I copy pasted the controls below.  Please tell me if these answer your question:

To get past the first level (or any level) is by pressing "<" when you are above a "<" on the screen. 

The recommended strategy is to avoid strong opponents unless you have lots of vodka (whisky is ok too). It's handy to have a couple sangrias to use them to evade strong enemies, don't use them against weak ones. If you see a P or a D, you should probably just run, maybe even a q. u's and n's are easy. 

Save your jello shots, only use them if your CUMMIES are at about 10 or 20, because going down the "<" gives you half your health back. 

Controls

Movement

Numpad

or

Arrows

Home, End, PgUp, PgDn for diagonal movement

Actions

c - see character stats

i - inventory

g - grab item

d - discard item

< - descend stairs

Esc - pause and save game

hover mouse for enemy name