I finished the build and the survey. Pages 5 and 6 got me feeling like I fucked up somewhere, lmfao
I think I wanna add that I really didn't like Jean and Kota playing matchmaker. I guess it's fine that they just wanted to nudge MC and Asterion in the right direction, but a part of me wanted them to mind their own business lol
I'm not 100% sure on how to put it into words, but if I had to put it on a scale, I would say 2 or 3. Not enough to ruin the character of course but it kinda bothers me. Thinking about it, I do like the scene in the garden where he's concerned with MC taking advantage of Asterion, and later trying to potentially coax Asterion's feelings out. That was good and touching. The later scene with MC and Kota I like less (especially since he's conveniently drunk off his ass.) I actually thought at first it was going to be about his own love, or the red dragon he's looking for, but it just turned into him ripping away MC's insecurity, as well as Kota's opinion on gay people in general (which I feel is even less necessary since this is a gay visual novel and he's tolerated Luke up to this point.)
Thanks for the reply! This is important info for us, and we're gonna watch out for how other people feel about Kota's involvement in this.
Making a gigantic build like this allowed us to make a very big build up, which I think was important to make this part of the story come together in a way that felt right, but that also meant we didn't have the kind of frequent, step-by-step player feedback that would let us fine tune every part of the story. I feel like this is maybe what happened here.
We'll most likely give it some time to catch more feedback and see how much we can improve these scenes, what parts in particular need more work — or if they require a rewrite.
This is probably not a very definitive answer. Still, thank you for the input. It's always very useful when people can articulate what specific parts aren't working as well as the rest.
I'd just like to add that for me, it made perfect sense. Not only is he a river god who has seen people in all their different states of humanity, he's also spending time around Luke and realizing hidden strength he once wrote off. A river is ever flowing, but Kota has chosen to take root for the time being and is changing from that. I think this is reflective of how he is interpreting rebellion. It's a little awkward, but there's a lot of experience, second only to Asterion.
I think having Kota of all people give permission to you to not necessarily pursue things, but to feel these things, is an important part of the power balance. You are going through something similar to Asterion by not allowing yourself to want. Of course, yours is discipline, whereas Asterion's is embedded, but that's why Kota acts as a sort of link connecting the two to their natural conclusion. I don't think any other character would have that effect, although Luke likely softened you up to hear something that's simultaneously more gentle and more powerful.
(Actually, Luke's comment about Mom and Pop shops is slightly damning. Because it showed you were still considering Asterion as beneath you and something to be handled instead of given full agency. But it's understandable why you're not ready yet. It's a perfectly reasonable response to all that power.)
